Have I told you yet that I have periodic psychic tendencies? No???? Well, I do. Consider yourself told.
Most of my psychotic– I mean psychic episodes come while I’m sleeping. Yes, I am actually telling you that sometimes my dreams come true. Does it happen to you? It could.
Usually I will have a really weird, but extremely realistic dream. I wake up in the morning thinking how weird, but extremely realistic the dream was and don’t think too much more of it. Then a week or a month or a year (you get the idea) later, part of the dream will actually come true. It’s weird. It’s more than déjà-vu. It’s like exact conversations and events will happen. Insert creepy Twilight Zone music here.
I’m pretty sure you’re now wondering how in the hell my psychic dreams have anything to do with my iPod. No, I don’t dream about my iPod. No, my iPod doesn’t speak to me in my dreams. No, I don’t really think my iPod is psychic, but there have been some pretty weird coincidences with my iPod when I’m at the gym. Well, one coincidence really.
I use to be a runner. Then a case of “80-year old knees syndrome” (yes- that is the technical term) took me out of the running game. I’ve slowly (and steadily) worked my way back up to running 2-3 days a week for 3-5 miles. Yeah, my past marathon self would be so disappointed in my excitement for this distance, but eh, I’ll take what I can get these days. So yeah, I’ve been feeling really good on the dreadmill lately. I’ve even been running without my brace. Yes, I like to live on the edge! Test the fates if you will.
ANYWAYS….I think my iPod knows that I need to be pushed. When I come close to finishing my run and my energy is a bit low and I’m questioning if I can go farther or faster, my iPod basically tells me to stop being a whiny bitch to give 110%. How you ask? No, my iPod isn’t speaking to me at the gym. Although, if it did I wonder what it would sound like…maybe it would have an accent, maybe it’s been possessed by Jillian Michaels….sorry, I digress. It’s really odd, but the last 5 out of 7 times I have been running, Outkast’s B.O.B comes on. That is my go to kick it in to high gear/kick my ass song. Seriously, almost every time my run is done, this song comes on. Weird wild stuff. Is no one else blown away by this?
Sure, I realize that this is all just a simple case of probabilities. If I put my iPizzle on shuffle, it is bound to come up with songs in a similar order. Did I ever tell you I hate math? Well I do. Despise math. Always sucked at math. So instead of thinking like a rational mathematical genius, I’d rather just believe that my iPod is psychic and knows when I’m about to complete my workout and wants to hand me a good old fashioned ass whooping. Is there anything wrong with that?