I am currently working at the Gaylord Hotel in Nashville. If you have never heard of the Gaylord Hotel before, you only need to know one thing…it’s huge. Like ginormously huge! It’s like the Disneyland of hotels. There are interactive maps that will print out directions for you, the carpets are color coded so you know which part of the hotel you are in, and it probably has its own zipcode. My first day here, I am pretty sure that I walked 3 miles before 11am.

When I’m working these meetings I always make sure to bring at least 3 pairs of comfy black shoes. No matter what shoes you wear, your feet are going to hurt. 14-18 hour days will do that to your feet and no pair of shoes will make it bearable. Here comes the bad news. I made a rookie mistake. I bought new onsite shoes and never broke them in. All day I was wearing my old Dansko’s, so I for sure looked like an 80’s lesbian. According to my husband, my black suit, blue shirt, and Dansko’s are the perfect recipe to make me resemble a lesbian circa 1980. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Back to the story– since the day was half over, I decided to trade my Dansko’s for a pair of my new shoes. I have slim heels (the body part that every woman wishes to be slim), so I put in those anti heel slip cushion thingys. Apparently, one shoe needed them and one didn’t because my one heel started rubbing and got very uncomfortable. So on my long, long walk (let’s call it The Green Mile), I decided to take out one of the anti heel slip thingys. Bad idea. Very bad idea.

Instead of making my walk more comfortable, it did the opposite. Now my heel was stuck to the shoe because the anti heel slip thingy left a sticky residue and it was pulling my skill that had started to blister. Ouch is an understatement. I started developing a limp and I had no choice but to finish my 2 mile walk back to our registration desk. Once back at the desk, I was able to properly access my heel situation. It was no small blister. It was officially an open wound. Shit! I still have 10 days of working at this hotel and I am only going to be walking more as the days progress.

Since I am a meeting planning pro, I always bring a supply of band-aids with me and my stash included a huge band-aid perfect for covering my heel. Alas, even with two band-aids on my wound and my clunky shoes back on, I was feeling the pain. I needed more protection. I needed that liquid band-aid second skin stuff. Yeah…that would do the trick.

Holy hell! Have you ever used that liquid band-aid shit? I asked my coworker if it would sting and she assured me it wouldn’t. This morning, I decided it was time to apply my second skin. My gaping wound was still crimson red and I needed to make sure it wouldn’t get worse in order for it to start healing. So, I went for it and fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck it hurt. It was all I could do to not scream at the top of my lungs. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. It hurt so bad. Like a dummy (or a masochist), I decided I could bear the pain and finish covering my wound because one swipe wasn’t enough to cover the area. It’s big. Kinda like this hotel. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit! I know the stinging only last for about 5 seconds, but those were the longest 5 seconds.

After drying my hair and getting dressed, I decided to put another coat on. I figured it wouldn’t hurt because I already had a base coat on. WRONG WRONG WRONG! Mother of Mercy was I wrong. That shit hurts. That shit hurts real bad. Maybe if you just have a small papercut it wouldn’t hurt, but if you have a blister or a gaping wound on your heel– DO NOT USE IT! It will burn. It will burn and hurt and cause you to say curse words that you mother told you not to and you will think you are having a heart attack and you will regret the day that you ever bought that damn second skin band-aid stuff and thought it was a good idea to try.




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One thought on “Ouchiemama!

  1. Mamacita says:

    Thanks for the warning Will Robinson! I will stay away from that that stuff like the plague and Fabreze!

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