THE LIST

Get ready for some major blowing your skirt up action… Today I am finally making my list official. No turning back.

            THE LIST- A list of five famous hotties that you are allowed to sleep with—no harm, no foul to your significant other.

Of course this actually means that:

  1. You actually have to come in contact with one of your listers.
  2. After coming in contact with them, you would of course have to make them want to have sex with YOU.
  3. Oh and yeah, they must actually be famous. By famous, I mean that any regular Joe on the street would know this person. It can’t be the guy or girl at the bar down the street that everyone in town knows.

The hubby and I decided a long time ago that we could have a list. We have always gone back and forth about how many are allowed on the list, but today a final decision has been made that only five can grace THE LIST.

Before I officially declare my list, I would like to acknowledge a few runners-up (in no particular order). Maybe we should change THE LIST to ten or twelve…no?

  • Joseph Gordon-Levitt: He has come a long way from his 30 Rock from the Sun Days. What can I say, I have a thing for nerds.
  • Jimmy Kimmel: I know, I know…Jimmy Kimmel, really?? Yes. He is hilarious and he is lookin’ pretty darn good these days. Must be all the Humpilates.
  • George Clooney: My favorite silver fox. John Stewart would be my #2 on the silver fox list.
  • Ben Harper or Jack Johnson: Musicians = hot. I think if both were in the same room, I would pick Ben over Jack.
  • If it was 10 years ago, Leonardo DiCaprio circa Romeo + Juliet would have been on THE LIST along with Brad Pitt circa A River Runs Through It. My walls were plastered with Brad in high school. Le sigh.
  • Ryan Reynolds- Oh Ryan, I wish you wouldn’t make terrible movies like The Flash and The Proposal. Even so, I wouldn’t kick you out of bed.
  •  James Franco- I really should put you on THE LIST considering you are the only one I could actually have a shot at meeting. If only you weren’t so hipster. My standard is that I can’t sleep with anyone that has skinner legs than myself.

Ok, so I could keep going on and on with honorable mentions, but it’s time to do this thing! Drumroll please…Seriously, you should be either imagining a drumroll in your head or actually doing one on a table or something.

#5- Dermot Mulroney

My love  began first watched The Thing Called Love. Oh Kyle Davidson, I don’t know why Miranda didn’t choose you over that dumb James. Even though you are getting older, you are still lookin’ damn good.

#4. Timothy Olyphant

He’s justified to be on this list. So cool…so good looking. Apparenlty, I like a man who can pull off a cowboy hat. I really wanted to jump his bones in Catch and Release. Yes, I like that movie (don’t judge) and yes, I always cry when I watch it (ok, you can maybe judge me a little).

#3- Ben Affleck

All that Jennifer Lopez/Gigli jazz aside, Ben has been on my list for a mighty long time. Like a fine wine, he just keeps getting better with age. Yummers!

#2- Ryan Gosling

Ryan wasn’t even on my list a month ago. I never really saw the appeal until I watched Crazy Stupid Love. Then BAM! He’s at #2. The move really does work! And he isn’t too shabby to look at either.

#1- Jake Gyllenhaal

 The husband knows that I will leave him for Jake. Seriously. I think he is my soulmate, he just doesn’t know it…yet. I plan on stalking him when we move back to Cali. I will find him on a bike ride in Santa Monica, I just know it.

So there it is. My official list. No turning back now. Who is on your list?

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Who’s got Baby Fever?

Tick tock, tick tock. Can you hear it? That is the sound of my husband’s biological clock.

Yes, it’s true. My husband has baby fever and I’m still feeling luke-warm on the issue. I’ve talked to friends and the same thing seems to be happening: more and more men are oohing and awing over babies and putting the pressure on the women-folk to settle down and pop out some kids.  I’m sure there is some scientific study out there that talks about how women are pursuing their careers and putting motherhood off for longer and yada, yada, yada. I’m sure that is true in a lot of cases: we get married later, work on our careers more, and always figure that motherhood can wait and will be there when we are ready. What really boggles my mind though, is how baby fever has taken hold of my husband. Let me give you some examples:

Location: Whole Foods

Date & Time: Saturday around 12:30 PM

Scene: The hubby and I are walking around Whole Paycheck (ahem- Foods) picking up a few necessities like almond butter and specialty cheeses. All of a sudden, we hear a giggle. Not just any giggle. Imagine the cutest, most adorable baby giggle you can think of and multiply it by 10. This little baby’s infectious laugh could be heard all throughout the store. (I have to admit, it was pretty precious) Upon hearing the most adorable baby giggle x 10, my husband turns to me with big doe eyes and says, “Don’t you want one of those?” I shrug my shoulders and  tell him maybe once we know where we’ll be in the next 6 months we can talk about it.

—–

Location: Raspberry Picking

Date & Time: A Saturday afternoon in August

Scene: The hubby and I are with friends at a U-Pick it farm. We are struggling to find any raspberries worth taking home. The pickin’s were slim! Then we see it: a cute Connecticut family. The hubby turns and gives me a longing look. I try to ignore his look as we go in to the next row of forlorn raspberries. Then we hear it. A darling little voice saying, “Daddy, I don’t ever want to leave. I want to pick raspberries forever.” I know what’s coming…the look! The longing look of “isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever heard in your whole thirty years of living” and I can’t escape it. Then the hubby says, “See, don’t you want a daughter? Baby B would be so cute, just like that little girl”. I retort with, “Yeah, but what about when Baby B is screaming and crying because we actually make her leave the raspberry farm. You still want one when it’s doing that?”

—–

Yes, I refer to babies as “it” or “them”. Charming, right? I do think it’s great that my husband wants to start a family and that he is in to kids. I know I’m lucky because a lot of people don’t have that. I just wish his biological clock wasn’t going tick tock like the Glockenspiel in Munich. Like I said, I am starting to warm to the idea of putting a baby up in my belly (if I’m lucky enough to be able to). I’m not pushing off motherhood because of a career, in reality it is more about my own fears. But that’s a whole other post in and of itself!

Seriously folks, these baby fever interactions totally amuse me. It’s like a movie, Attack of the Baby Fever!  The same situation plays out in something similar to the above at least once a week, but the movie version would play out something like this: A mob of cute babies are following me down a dark alley.  Then my husband’s googly eyed face comes on the screen and he asks over and over “Don’t you want a Baby B?” I start to run away and then the babies engulf me with their coos and laughter. The scene starts spinning like a scene out of Vertigo and then I wake up with sweat beads streaming down my forehead. Relieved it was a dream, I look over to  my husband and he is awake and looking at me me with those same googly eyes. He says he has a suprise and brings Baby B into the room. Then, of course, I let out a good old fashioned blood curtling scream.

Oh, how different we are from the 1950’s couple of yesteryear.

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Interest in Pinterest

In my humble opinion, Pinterest is genius. It is a vortex of internet time-suck (and I mean that in the best way possible).  In the days B.P. (that’s Before Pinterest), I would see something cool on a website and email the link to myself. My inbox was a mess; cluttered with links to who-the-hell-knows-what. Life was dark and dreary and damn unorganized. Then a ray of light…Pinterest.

Oh, Pinterest, you are the Einstein of our time. I find a link, make a board, click “pin it” and voila…interweb link chaos averted. Thank the lord baby Jesus. I can find all the links to recipes, clothing, shoes, men candy, funny pictures (basically anything my little heart could ever want) all in one place and categorized to my liking. So simple. So smart.

The brilliance of Pinterest is that you can share your pins with your friends. This Facebook-esque quality makes it all the more fun. Not only can I pin a picture of a pair of shoes or Ryan Gossling (both of which give me a lady boner), but I can share them with other Pinteresters. This sharing street goes both ways– not only can people see what I pin, but I can see what they pin. I can’t tell you how many items have gone in to my “If Money Grew on Trees” board. Thanks a lot Pinterest friends! I hope Santa visits my Pinterest page because otherwise my bank account is going to have some serious withdrawals.

It is ludicrous how much time I can spend pinning. I can see it becoming a serious problem and I may need to ask for help soon. Hi, my name is Angela and I’m addicted to Pinterest. I think the support group would be called Pinheads. There must be hundreds like me out there!

Pinterest is my new favorite pastime. I’m unsure about what that says about me. I think I need more friends. And Money. Seriously though, I love Pinterest. I love that it organizes the things on the web that I like, need, love, want, dream of and of course,  all the things I didn’t even know I liked, needed, wanted, dreamed of.

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